#70 Thursday Thoughts

In no particular order...

• I think I'm coming down with political paranoia. Anxiety verging on panic-attack precedes the TV remote-switch, the flip of the newspaper page, the click of the Drudge or HuffPost icon. They're out to get me. I don't know about all you Myriad Readers, but it's getting downright FRIGHTENING to tune in to the news lately. To tap into my last post for this analogy: I feel like I'm back in the Stoney, watching maybe Creature from...II, crouching/peeking through the seat-divide in front of me, heart-poundingly anticipating stunt-man Ricou Browning (later of Flipper fame) as the Amphibious Horror popping up yet again from the depths of the Black Lagoon to wreak havoc upon us all (especially the lovely Julie Adams). And when I knew it was just a split-second before the event--it was time to make my RUN...up that inclined aisle-way to the sanctuary of the lobby. Just for a minute or two till the danger was past. Meanwhile, I'd push those big, heavily-upholstered, swinging lobby-doors open at split-second intervals--just a slight, screen-illuminated SLIT--to make sure. Then return bravely to my seat. As for the political incarnation of the Black Lagoon: slimy, lizard-like creatures--corporeal and not, Republican and Democrat--are popping up from the depths by the split-second it seems: fully finned, gilled, webbed, be-clawed...and ready to terrorize the democratic process. And send me running to the lobby. Fill in the blanks.
• One from Confucius: "In order to understand Death, you must first understand Life"--500 B.C. Maybe too big a leap, but I'm puzzled that Rapture-crazed evangelicals of the Sarah-Palin ilk bother to run for office, or even to vote...what with the End of the World just around the corner. To bring it about more quickly?
• Peeve: Why can't TV and newspaper copy-writers get the spelling of "Whoops" vs. "Woops" (just an "oops" with a cute initial "w") RIGHT, when they mean one thing rather than the other? The former is a plural NOUN, beginning with a "breathy" wh-sound--an aspirated bi-labial phoneme (to get sexy about it)***--and meaning full-throated SHOUTING noises (or, more seriously, coughing ones, in the childhood disease), sounding like the word itself, as if coming from Arsenio Hall's studio-audiences of yore. The latter is almost a contronym in meaning: an Ejaculatory part-of-speech (to get even more sexier), beginning with the the UN-aspirated bi-labial, and signifying an inadvertent error, faux pas, screw-up, etc.--like the seemingly ubiquitous misspelling the word with an "h"when you don't mean shouting noises coming from Arsenio's audience. (***Lauren Bacall gives sort of a lesson in the aspirated bi-labial to an infatuated, soon-to-be-husband-in-real-life Bogie in "To Have and Have Not" 1944--Just whistle if there's anything you need [or some such]...Ya know how to WHISTLE doncha? Just put your lips together like this, and...blow.)

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